Something I have to forgive myself for

Day 3:  Okay-- next challenge I do is going to be 30 days of naming my favorite things- like top 30 movies, top 30 books, top 30 vacation destinations, top 30 cute things my children say...etc.  These rip your heart out and lay it on the table 'deep thinking' topics are exhausting.

"Something I have to forgive myself for"--- jeez.  Well- I don't want to get too specific (even though I don't think anyone other than my mom is actually reading these posts) but I do feel really bad about getting involved in some of my friend's romantic relationships.  I had a friend years and years ago who was dating a guy and it had been going nowhere for a really long time (there's actually a juicy story here but since it's personal and not mine to tell....I'll just leave it at that).  After far too many drinks one night at a midtown bar, I decided to tell this guy exactly what I thought of their 'situation.'  Long, long story short, the relationship ended soon after that .....and so did my friendship.  I've regretted that night for a long time.  My friend confided secret details of their time together and it wasn't my heart to save.  I realize now that the relationship would have ended anyway and I had no business getting involved....and I miss that friendship so much.

I have a few stories like that where I've said something terrible and it came back to haunt me.  I knew a girl who had a sleazy boyfriend.  When she told me they split up, I said "good- I never liked him anyway.  He was a weirdo."  A year later, they were back together and expecting a baby.......totally awkward!

So- I need to forgive myself for the friendships I've destroyed because I said the wrong thing or didn't call enough or took someone for granted.  I hate that they aren't in my life anymore but I still love the memories I have and they never fade.