Monday, December 3, 2012

Skipping school

So- I have to share this funny story--well I think it's funny anyway... and I hope I'm able to enact the statute of limitations for bad high school behavior because my mom reads this blog.....

I thought I was a big rebel high schooler because I figured out a way to skip school once in awhile without getting caught.  One would think I would skip school to do really scandalous activities.....like smoke in the woods behind the football field, make out with a boy or try elicit drugs.  Unfortunately, none of these things ever happened (would have made for a better story).  I skipped school mostly to avoid going to mandatory pep rallies, be an extra in an independent movie being filmed in town when I was too young to legally do it or go to a coffee shop near NC State.  Yup-- that was my entire agenda.....drink an iced latte near a 22 year old Art History major and buy used books at noon on a Tuesday.

Side note- I've never smoked a cigarette, never smoked pot (so never tried anything more shocking) and never drank an entire beer until the end of freshman year of college.  Of course, after that first beer, I had to stumble around this house party like I'd had four shots of Jagermeister and half a keg of beer when, in reality, I just felt really full and bloated.  I have to say that I'm even embarrassed now by my blatant un-coolness.... 

So- best day of skipping school ever......my friend Jessica was home sick.  While home, she heard about this independent film that was shooting around town that needed extras for a street scene.  Knowing this would be right up my alley, Jessica popped into school during my lunch break and found me sitting in the courtyard.  Schemers that we were, we devised a plan that she would pull up to this roundabout drive that was near the back exit to the auditorium and pick me up.  I just had to wait for her car, nonchalantly walk out the door, saunter to her car like it was totally normal and we would drive away....totally normal.

When you involve me, especially 15 year old me, in a stealthy plan, it always becomes ridiculous.  I'm hanging out by the back door and see Jessica pull up....just like we planned.  I open the heavy door and start to walk normally to her car.  But- just as I take my first few steps, I start to panic.  It's like I think the gates of hell are going to open up and suck me to the base of Purgatory in the parking lot- because the universe really gives a crap that I don't want to go to 5th period Geometry.  So- what do I do?  I break out into a full marathon sprint....I run....and run....and run as fast I can with 40 pounds of text books in my backpack banging into my back.  Jessica, clearly startled by my frantic running and assuming I'm being chased by a pack of starving cheetahs, throws open the passenger door and I leap in.  

So- here I am- crouched in her front seat sideways, facing Jessica, book bag jammed halfway outside, trying to reach behind me to pull the door shut, yelling at Jessica to go....."GO! GO!!  JUST GO!!!!!"  She clearly doesn't understand the urgency is 'Christina' induced and utterly imaginary...so she does what any normal 16 year old would do....she guns it.  We fly out of that parking lot like Thelma & Louise- her gripping the wheel (she totally should have had driving gloves) and me still trying to get the door shut.  We get about two blocks from school when Jessica has to pull over because she puts together that I'm a complete moron and I'm fairly sure she peed in her pants from laughing until she couldn't breathe at my scaredy cat ass.  

The best part was, after we stopped laughing hysterically ten minutes later, I realized that the entire packed cafeteria (not to mention the principal's office) had a clear view of my escape route and either laughed as hard as we did or were worriedly wondering who was chasing that poor girl through the parking lot.  Not sure it's funny to anyone but me....but almost (ALMOST) 20 years later and I still laugh out loud at that car ride.  

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