Cruises

I have a Life Bucket List that is 20 pages thick.  Sometimes it's intimidating to think about all the things I want to accomplish and experience in my few short years.  I start looking at the list.....and then promptly eat a Xmas cookie and watch House Hunters International or Downton Abbey reruns and go to bed far too late again.

So- I've decided to think about one thing I never ever want to do-- almost like I'm crossing it off the life list so I can feel like there's one less thing in the world for me to knock out.  I never, ever, ever, under no condition or circumstance, ever want to take a vacation cruise.  I've never been and never want to go.

I like boats.  I like the water.  I like traveling.  I've been on two dinner cruises-- one was surprisingly amazing and the other was utterly horrible.  We booked a touristy dinner cruise in Paris on our honeymoon and was fantastic.  You get to the dock after walking down a quaint street to quaint stairs and wander down the Seine until you find your boat.  We were the cheesy newlyweds who rushed to the front of the boat to grab a table so we could get the best view and feel like we were alone.  We figured the food would be barely edible at best.....and I had one of the best steaks I've ever had.  All of Paris's sites are situated on the water front so we got to see so many amazing sites without moving a muscle.  And- we totally ate up the cheesy, touristy fabulousness of watching the Eiffel Tower light up at dusk.  Perfect dinner cruise.

To relive the feeling, I booked a dinner cruise for my husband's birthday in Washington, DC.  Totally different night.  No offense to the truly dangerous parts of DC, but we parked in a fairly trashy neighborhood and quickly walked from our car to the dock anxiously looking over our shoulders because the shady neighborhoods in DC are always a little too quiet..... The boat was packed and it was a four hour cruise---it took us five minutes to realize that nothing in DC worth marveling at was on the water front.  You basically float south and see a few lights from the highway and a power plant or something.  The food was terrible- I think it was a buffet of soggy noodles and barely recognizable meat.  The wine was the cheap wine that gives you a headache when you are just reading the label.  The tables were an inch apart.  They had horrible music playing and a small dance floor for the wilder patrons.  At one point in the night I turned to my husband and said "I feel like we are at a wedding and we don't know anyone and the party is long over and I can't leave unless I jump overboard."  We were the first people off the boat that night.

So- I don't want to go on an actual cruise for a week.  I don't want to be stuck in a small room (I've lived in NYC- been there, done that), I don't want to meet new people every night at dinner at some big round table (I want to relax and barely talk to my husband if I so choose), I don't want to lay on a deck of some boat or play games.  I don't want to dock at an island I want to explore and have a curfew.  I don't want to get food poisoning (I know this can happen anywhere but I don't want to be sick on a boat).  I enjoy a good drink now and again and I'm a clumsy person...I don't want to fall overboard.  These are just the basic concerns.  But the big one is this: I never again want to plan for a fun event and feel like I'm stuck at a stranger's terrible wedding...and that I have to swim my way out of it to make it end.

I'll stick with the Parisian dinner cruise or an island getaway.