Cars

So- as I've been driving around my new city in my new, rather old mini-van, I've realized that I really don't care about cars.  I can barely identify mine in a parking lot and seriously can't tell the difference between a fancy Mercedes and a Honda accord.....seriously.  If challenged, I might be able to tell you what color car you drive but that's it.  It's just not something I think about and my brain is completely unable to retain any car-related information.

But- I've been reminded this week of the one time I was properly embarrassed by my ride.  When I left NYC the first time and moved to Washington, DC, my husband and I didn't have a car.  As luck would have it, my parents had kept my college car and they used it from time to time.  It was a 2 door gray Saturn XL or a BMW sports car, I can't recall.  Time had been kind to the inner workings of the vehicle but the outer shell was a disaster.  We began driving that sucker into the ground.

A few years later, we decided it was time for a new car and got a brand new Honda CRV.  So- the Saturn was relegated to the 'extra' vehicle and only used in case of double event/car emergencies.  This turned out to be a blessing because the Saturn was also the new recipient of a giant hole in the passenger rear side panel courtesy of a wind gust that blew a cab's door into the side thus leaving a gapping wound for all to behold.

One night, my husband was scheduled for a guy's poker night about an hour away and I was scheduled to attend a black tie awards event for work at the Ritz Carlton in Georgetown.  Somehow, hubby won the privilege to drive the new car to poker and I was  rewarded with the beat up Saturn.  So, I donned a beautiful, black tie worthy dress, sashayed to my car, creaked open the door and drove to the $30 valet at the lobby of the Ritz Carlton.  This, in and of itself, is not really a big deal.  But, I've neglected to tell you the best part....that hole in the side of the car had gotten a bit more interesting.  Brilliant geniuses that we are, my husband and I decided that we didn't want the giant hole to rust but we didn't want to repair it.  So, we did the next big thing....we duct taped over the hole clearly thinking that the no one would notice the tape because it was the same gray as our car.  Not only that, but the tape didn't stick down all the way so it would flap in the breeze.  We were that lazy....we didn't want to deal with getting it repaired and we are also too lazy to actually duct tape it properly.

Great event!  Great awards!  The top advertising executives in Washington, DC were present and it was a night full of food and drinks and appropriate revelry.  But, as we were all lining up at the valet stand to get our cars, I started to get nervous.  Every car that drove away was a fancy, fancy car (I guess the big ones like Mercedes, BMW, whatever).  I was standing with the man whose team had just won the biggest award of the night and he graciously allowed me to go first.  I kept insisting that I wasn't in a hurry but he wanted to be all gentlemanly.  Well, what am I going to do, walk home?  So, I patiently waited for my car......and it arrived in style.  Not only did it make a puttering sound noticed by all but, of course, as it drove up, the side with the duct taped hole rolled to a stop directly in front of the waiting line.  

I turned to the big wig ad executive and said "well, that's my car.  I must be off," took my keys from the valet, walked around the rear of the passenger side, naturally paused to carefully reapply the hanging duct tape, creaked open my door, hopped in and waved a big farewell.  We got rid of that car after I forgot to renew the tags or get the car inspected for like 4 years.  Sad thing is I'm likely to do the same exact thing again in the future.